:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
