I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
