If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
