There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
