bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
