Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
