New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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