The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
