It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
