new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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