youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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