I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
