see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
