Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
