Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
