and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
