so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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