it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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