words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm just crazy horny about you
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
