walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
don't judge my taste in strippers
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
