He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
