I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
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