Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
