We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
