Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
