How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
