evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
