So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
