Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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