Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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