Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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