i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
