I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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