i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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