Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
