So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
