You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
