The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
