chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Still dying that you shit outside
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
