Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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