Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My vagina is very pro this idea
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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