Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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