so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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