Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
be right there i have to get my cape
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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