im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
