I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
