do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
