My Higher Power is John Stamos
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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