If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Let's paint friendship bongs
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
