yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
